My roommate in college had a big-boned girlfriend who had been spending a lot of time at our place. An old friend of mine was coming to visit with his girlfriend, so after a marathon sex session, the roomie and his GF left for her place for the weekend so that my friend and his girlfriend could sleep in his room on his king sized bed instead of the couch. (A solid move. He’s a good dude like that)
Woke up the next day after a long night out to find my out of town guests asleep on the couch in the living room. They explained that they had returned to the bedroom and spent half an hour looking for the source of the stench, which they described as a rotting ham sandwich. Exhausted and trying not to puke, they eventually gave up and hit the couch.
So, um… great description.
call me crazy, but i’d totally fuck Renee Zellwegger as Bridget Jones. yeah. i totally would. because shes probably got the Ben & Jerrys tip on lockdown and we can have super-sweaty-kinda-fat-person sex (which is the best, because after that kind of carnal fucking the room smells like warm ham). then we can watch tv and i can smoosh her boobs together and make them talk like Christopher Walken. fuck you. try it. its awesome.
overly skinny chicks are the fucking worst. its like someone told them to ‘get in shape’ and the first shape they could think of was a straight line. BOOSH!
